That'd Do, For Now
by Son of Sam
Summary: Ashley is smitten with the new girl. Slightly AU, Ashley's POV. I don't use any names, but this is spashley.


So I'm new to writing this fandom, but I'm really no stranger to spashley. Here's my first go at it. Hope you enjoy. Lynch owns this (along with my soul). Just read it, alright?

* * *

**That'd Do, For now.**

There's this girl in your class. You can't really place why you like her, but you just do, and she's smiling at the moment, bright and white, and you can't look away. And you know that it's a little weird to stare, but she's shining, almost literally and you just can't, for the life of you, look away. Then she glances at you, and you feel exposed, as if you've been caught doing something terrible. And you know you haven't because people look at her all the time; she's new and from somewhere far off and people have lots of questions for her all the time. But you try to refrain from treating her like she's an alien. You want her to think you're not curious; you have your own thing going on. If she wants to be part of it, she can jump aboard. But in actuality, you're really wishing you could step out of your cool image and just ask her things about herself. She's only been there three days, but gosh, you're so obsessed.

So obsessed, in fact, that you enlist one of your more popular friends to find things out about her and tell you so when you do talk to her, you know what not to do (and what to do, of course.) But talking to her is hard because she smiles at everyone the same way but when she smiles at you, you're sure the whole world can see you melt. But you spend the better part of your school day finding ways to be around her, saying funny things and ignoring the fact that maybe she notices that you're everywhere. What if she doesn't want you everywhere? Even so, at passing, you see a friend of yours with her, and you make your way over nonchalantly, thinking of an excuse to talk to your friend that's talking to her ("Hey, did you get the homework for math last period?" And you know you wrote it down before the whole class even knew it was there.)

There are these moments when you're watching her, and you just know that she knows. She doesn't look at you, and you try your best to stop sneaking glances at her, but you both kind of know that this little thing is going on. Then she says Hi to you one day. You want to jump up and down, but you can't because you feel like your heart will fall into your shoes, not to mention the fact that everyone is watching you.

* * *

You're older than her, but every time she's near you act immature and silly and you try so fucking hard not to stare at her but it's hard because on top of being ridiculously pretty, there's just something about her that makes your head spin. Something about her makes you dress a little more precisely in the morning and makes you want to come to school _on time _for once. The worst and best thing about her is the fact that she looks amazing in sweats and a hoodie makes you feel like shit that even at your best, you're pretty average. And it's not like it's your fault that your mom is a bitch and doesn't work, and it's not your fault that no one will hire you so you can't get decent clothing to impress her. And it's not your fault that mainstream music doesn't excite you and it's not your fault that she's just not that into you. It could be for a number of reasons (she's straight, she likes black guys, she's asexual, you're just a friend) and if only you knew the reason, it'd be easy to fix it. God you want to fix it.

* * *

The worst day of your life is when you find out that she's actually a year younger than you and that has an older brother in your grade who is totally homophobic (from afore mentioned friend, of course.) That day you don't bother to dress decent, and you only comb your hair after you shower because your hair is your pride and joy. It's that same day she comes up to you and asks you about your eyes, which are no longer green because you've recently stopped wearing those dumb color contacts you thought would make her notice you, and you talk for a whole ten minutes about the nuances of having to put in contacts in every day. Then, at lunch, she walks up to you and inquires about your hair, which has always had this weird red tint thing going on. After that, you pretty much start spending every lunch period together and you think that maybe if you spent less time obsessing over her, you'd let yourself actually like her.

* * *

The first time you walk her home, her brother is there, watching you like a hawk because you have short hair and baggy pants. You know people at school think you're just a "Tomboy" but he sees _it_, and that scares the shit out of you. You keep your distance, and when you get to the street on which you'd go your separate ways, you hesitate when she holds her arm out for a hug.

* * *

She's doing it again. That thing where she sits in the bleacher right below you and uses your knees as arm rests, and your thighs as pillows. Over the months, you've become more comfortable with her, and her with you, but sometimes, mostly times like this, you feel that feeling again. It's dormant most of the time, but sometimes she takes suggestive jokes a little too far and other times her touches linger just a little bit too long. And you try not to notice it but it's hard when your breath catches in your throat before you can catch your breath, and sometimes she just looks at you like _that_ and you just don't know what to do. And you wonder if she'd make the first move because you're terrified. You're terrified of her brother, you're terrified that you're reading too much into _that look_, and you're terrified that maybe, just maybe, she feels the same way too. And it's stupid, you know, but you're never really dated a girl before. You've only kissed random curious female friends and you were a kid then. And you aren't now, so what if she wants to do more than just kiss you? What then? But before you can think too much about it she's taking your hands and putting them in her hair, and maybe, just maybe there isn't much to be afraid of.

* * *

The first time you think about _actually_ kissing her is when you're huddled together under an umbrella in the court yard. Your other friends are watching, sneaking furtive glances at you because _they know_ and everyone can see how close you two are. The thought doesn't come immediately, but her teeth are chattering and her hair is damp, and her lips and cheeks are tinged pink from the cold. And it's not like you want to make out with her or anything, you just want a simple pressing of the lips. Instead, even though it's cold and wet, you take off your water-proof, insulated jacket and drape it over her shaking shoulders. That would do, for now.

* * *

The first time you think you might actually have a chance with her is when she asks if you're gay. She doesn't say it out right, instead she asks in a completely nonchalant way, "Do you like, like girls?" And you find yourself laughing at the way she phrased the question, but nodding all the same. It didn't make you think you had a chance until she asked you, "How do you know if you like girls?"

* * *

The first time you're confronted about like liking her it's by her brother in a completely unfriendly manner. He corners you after school in the alcove by your history classroom tells you to, "Keep your dykie hands off my little sister." And at the moment all you could think was that it seemed like his little sisters hands were always on you, not the other way around.

* * *

The first time you actually do kiss her is the first time you walk home without her brother. Actually, you don't kiss her, she kisses you, and it's soft and short and shy and perfect.

You walked her all the way home that day.

/END.

* * *

So, whaddya think? Be honest.


End file.
